Love like God's
Like petals, star fragments reflected in shards.
It’s my papá falling down the stairs, hitting his head,
another weekend of Chente and reminders,
of regret, or tears
on crimson-glass shards
dreams I’ve trampled.
Idiota, hijueputa, traidor
Bottles being thrown like artillery,
At my father who’s too drunk to duck
Incoming bombs of glass.
Spit mixed with piss and beer,
With repeated promises
Stained on carpet stairs.
A man, my dad, blackout drunk, passed out.
His skin marked purple by my mother,
Painting him like he’s a canvas,
Brushstrokes, detail
An Ironfist of love;
I want to believe she loves him.
And maybe this is what love is.
Love like a fist to your shoulder, chest, and face.
And maybe that’s what being a man is.
Taking this love like a man.
Paint me like a mother.
He clings onto you like a man.
And he rests his head on you,
Drunk as shit, bruised, and in love.
And yes, she holds him like she held God,
arm around his bloody face, hand in his beer-bathed hair,
like an angel, that’s how he first saw her.
So, he rests his head on her left breast, underneath her wing.
And tomorrow he will wake up without remembering.
He will make his café, kiss his wife, greet his son,
He will wake up wondering why tears stained his eyes,
Why his throat reminisces of drunken yelling,
Why there’s a neat pile of glass like the mountains of El Salvador.